Bachlorette

****warning this post is filled with spelling errors…..Fuck it.

I am a fountain of emotions.

One minute I am sobbing my eyes out, thinking about all the good qualities of P, and all the things I love about him, how I will never again be able to bask and enjoy those things…..

Then the next minute I am a big spiky ball of anger, thinking of all the injustice of the situation and what a big fucking hypocrite he is.

And logical me can’t make heads or tails of why he does what he does.  It only makes sense to a certain point and then it becomes like a world of quantum fields where nothing is what it seems……down down down the rabbit hole.

There is no unified theory.

He SAYS he loves me….that he wants to be with me….. yet he still carries on the inappropriate conversations with other women

and despite his revelation about his little problem, it doesn’t make any of what he does right or excusable.

Instead of addressing the problems he chalks it all up to how we are not compatible.  We butt heads.  It won’t work.

Yet the reason we butt heads…the reason it won’t work is because he refuses to stop what he is doing and take a good fucking look at himself.

He told me he resents me….because i go through his stuff….yet I don’t think he gets the reason why I went through his stuff….because he was LYING to me….

He says that this pattern has been going on and on and on and he’s tired of it….yet he refuses to see that it is because of HIS repetitive behavior that we keep dancing this dance.

He resents me because i just go where I want to go and just talk to whoever I want to talk to…..to him, the fact that I have a life outside him gives him the allowance to do the very thing he accuses me of.  Because obviously if he is doing it…..I MUST be as well….which only solidifies his right even more so.

We’ve been talking.  I’ve gone back to his place to hang out.  We had sex.  He says all this shit about how things will only work out between us if i STOP GOING THROUGH HIS SHIT…..

Meanwhile he is talking with an ex girlfriend, one whom he has told me he could never be with because she is a drunk and put on a bunch of weight…yet there he is, charming her with his fucking schmarmy charm….telling her how they should get together, how he will “pin” her down 😉 one of these days…… They nonchalantly remimnence of old times, and she ends the conversation with yes master.

All this going on while he tells me how much he misses me and loves and wants to be with me….but oh…it just won’t work because I keep going through his shit.

Riiiiiigggght.  Keep telling yourself that asshole.

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~ by spanglebaby52 on October 16, 2013.

2 Responses to “Bachlorette”

  1. I know it hurts but sounds like good riddance to me. Hugs

  2. Had one just like him…….Fuck Em

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